


187 days

by broccolilover



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, but its all good in the end, it's actually not that sad, why am i writing about the s1 finale when we're already in s3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:03:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5154692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/broccolilover/pseuds/broccolilover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes Jake 187 days to come home, and Amy struggles to deal with the aftermath of Jake's confession without him around.</p><p>((Slight AU in which Amy breaks up with Teddy while Jake is undercover.))</p>
            </blockquote>





	187 days

**Author's Note:**

> Title comes from the number of days between the S1 finale and the first episode of S2.

**Day 0**  

“I kinda wish something could happen between us. Romantic stylez.”

And then Jake is gone, and Amy’s left floundering in the wake of his sudden confession, robbed of the chance to reply.

The words _“Come back alive”_ linger on her tongue, the taste of them bittersweet.

**Day 1**

Amy feels Jake’s absence almost immediately after stepping into the precinct. Not that he’s ever here when she first arrives, but something still feels…different.

She catches herself expecting a sarcastic remark from him at least five times before lunchtime.

Holt calls her into his office after lunch to discuss her current lack of partner. She fidgets as he explains that it will, obviously, only be a temporary arrangement to tide her over until Jake returns. 

(He doesn’t add the phrase _“If he returns”_. He doesn’t need to.)

Amy feels his gaze on her back as she leaves his office. It’s uncharacteristically sympathetic.

———

They go to Shaw’s bar after work.

Charles tries to get everyone hyped up by telling them how jealous he is that Jake gets to be the badass undercover cop, but Amy can see that his eyes are sad. The loss of Jake’s presence hangs over them like a heavy shroud.

They drink in silence and try not to think about what might happen if Jake’s cover is blown.

Amy leaves the bar before everyone else. Terry squeezes her shoulder as he bids her goodbye like he’s trying to comfort her. 

That night, as she lays in bed, she stares at the ceiling and tries not to think about why he thought he needed to offer her any comfort.

Jake’s parting words play on repeat as she tries to fall asleep. 

She doesn’t.

**Day 3**

Holt announces that a rookie will be joining the Nine-Nine on Monday, a young twenty-something called Frank Morgan.

Amy glances over at the empty desk opposite hers. Jake cleared out everything he owned before leaving, but if she closes her eyes she can still picture him sitting across from her, feet on the desk, eating a ‘breakfast burrito’ as he works on his latest case.

She wonders if she’ll still be able to do that after six months.

———

It’s Friday and she has a date with Teddy, so she pushes all thoughts of Jake to the back on her mind and lets Teddy take center stage.

They go to a small Jewish restaurant for dinner and she orders matzo ball soup. 

Teddy’s midway into a story about a jewel thief when their food arrives. The smell of broth reminds her of Jake.

———

_Someone’s at her doorbell._

_“Open up the door, Ames! It’s me, Jake, your partner, here to save the day.”_

_Amy suppresses a groan as she stands. Her head is spinning and her nose is terribly blocked, but she manages to limp her way to the door. Jake stumbles in as soon as she unlocks the door, carrying takeout bags and a thermos flask._

_“I made you soup. Drink up,” he says as he opens the bags of Chinese food, “I’m here to take care of you.”_

_She sniffs the soup suspiciously. It smells surprisingly good, so she takes a tiny sip. The soup is warm and comforting, and she savours every mouthful as Jake laughs at whatever’s playing on the television._

_“Thanks for doing this, Jake.” At least, that’s what she means to say, but her cold makes it sound more like_ Tanksbordointith, Jage _. He understands what she means, anyway._ _  
_

_“No problem. We’re partners. If I don’t look after you, who will?”_

———

Teddy’s story had been hilarious, but now her smile falters as she recalls that particular memory.

“Is everything okay?” Amy can hear the concern in his voice even as she stares blankly at the steam curling up from her bowl.

“Yes. Everything’s fine.”

She smiles at him, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

He smiles back.

It occurs to Amy, as they part ways outside the restaurant, that she’s well past the three-date rule she’d imposed on herself ever since she started dating. She thinks about inviting him back to her place for a drink.

She thinks about Jake’s confession, and watches as Teddy’s retreating figure slowly disappears into the night.

**Day 6**

The rookie arrives on Monday, as expected. He’s shorter than her, with a number 2 cut. Basically, he’s nothing like Jake.

Amy can’t help but compare the two of them anyway. 

———

They bring him to the bar to celebrate his joining the team. It’s a little hard to keep up with the whole “Jake-was-fired-and-totally-isn’t-undercover” act, but they manage to prevent any accidents from occurring. 

Amy laughs as she watches Frank attempt to balance a beer bottle on his head (it’s part of his so-called “initiation” into the Nine-Nine).

_Only six more months till Jake returns._

**Day 30**

It’s been a whole month since Jake went undercover. Not that she’s counting, or anything. 

Amy’s already been on three missions with Frank as her partner, and she’s slowly begun to warm up to him. He doesn’t think on his feet as fast as Jake, but he’s a good cop nonetheless, and Amy respects him. 

As they pore over case files at his immaculately neat desk (apparently they share the same love of orderliness), she thinks, somewhere in the back of her mind, that they might even become friends. 

Even if she does miss brushing the crumbs off Jake’s desk.

**Day 90**

Halfway into Jake’s mission, Amy gets to see him again.

———

Amy’s day starts off well — she catches a low-level drug dealer and manages to get all her paperwork done by the end of the day. It certainly helps when your partner isn’t actively trying to avoid doing any administrative work. 

Teddy comes to pick her up from the precinct at 7 sharp. Today they’re going to a restaurant-slash-bar that’s a little further away than they’re used to. He swears the ravioli is amazing, though, so she agrees. 

On the ride to the restaurant, Amy tunes out Teddy’s latest pilsner exploits and allows her mind to wander to Jake for the first time in nearly a month. Three whole months have passed since they last saw each other. Three months until they’ll get to see each other again. She wonders what she’ll say to Jake when his mission is over. Something casual. A joke, maybe. She doesn’t know how to turn him down gently. She doesn’t know if she really wants to turn him down.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Teddy’s voice cuts through her convoluted thoughts. He looks worried. Amy thinks about how Jake had blushed as he said the words “romantic stylez”. She wonders if she should tell Teddy about his confession. 

“Amy?" 

“Uh, sorry, I was just…thinking about a case I’m working on.”

“Tough case, huh? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Don’t worry, it’s nothing much.”

She misses Jake. 

———

The ravioli is amazing, as expected.

Amy sips at her wine as Teddy drones on about his newest batch of pilsners. It had been fun to explore the mini microbrewery he had at home, and the pilsners he made were undeniably good, but it’s all he ever seems to talk about. Amy doesn’t even like pilsners that much.

Jake had called Teddy boring. Vaguely, she thinks that he’s right.

“Bartender! A drink for my boy Marco over here! He just got engaged!” Amy’s attention snaps to the rowdy group of men entering the bar, all decked out in jackets and earrings. 

The Iannucci family. 

Which means—

“Jakey! Get over here! You’re one of us now, brother, and it’s time to celebrate!”

_Jake._

“He’s here. Jake is here.” 

“And so is the Iannucci family! We need to get out of here now, Amy,” Teddy hisses. Amy can feel the beginnings of a migraine pressing against her temples. 

“No! I need to talk to him. I have to tell him…tell him something…” Before her eyes, the world starts to spin. 

“Are you crazy? We’re cops! They’re criminals! What the hell is Jake even doing with them? Amy, we need to go! Now!” 

“Okay. You’re right. We should go.” She feels nauseous.  

Amy allows Teddy to lead her to the door. As he pays for their dinner at the counter, she allows herself to look back.

 _Just one look_ , she tells herself, _just to make sure that he’s fine._

His laugh is exactly as she remembers it, but there are bags under his eyes where there weren’t any before, and there’s an odd emptiness in his gaze. Her heart aches as she begins to turn away from him.

Of course, that’s when he shifts and meets her eyes. 

The smile on his face vanishes almost instantaneously. Thankfully, the Iannucci brothers are too busy celebrating to care about the sudden loss of his laughter. 

He opens his mouth, ready to say something. She wouldn’t be able to hear through all the commotion, but they both know she’ll just read his lips and figure it out. 

Teddy whisks her away before he can finish the first word. When she glances back through the door, Jake’s been pulled to the side by one of the Iannuccis. 

Amy pulls back as Teddy leans in for a kiss. Her headache has returned. 

As she lies in bed, a bag of ice pressed to her forehead, the image of Jake mouthing a single word plays on repeat behind her eyelids. 

It takes her a while, but she finally figures out what he was going to say.

_Amy._

**Day 91**

She breaks up with Teddy and calls in sick to work for the first time in her life. 

**Day 92**

By the time she gets to the precinct, everyone is waiting for her. 

She’s five minutes late. 

“Sorry, Captain. I wasn’t feeling too well in the morning, but I’m better now and I’m ready for work,” It’s technically not a lie, but it’s not exactly the truth either. 

Holt nods, lips pressed tightly together as he returns to his office. Everyone else stays put.

“Why are you guys staring at me? It’s the truth. I was sick, but now I’m not.” 

Clearly unconvinced, Terry raises an eyebrow at her and ushers her to the break room, followed closely Rosa and Charles. Even Gina gets up to come over.

“Alright, spill, Santiago. What really happened yesterday?” Rosa’s stare is unnervingly intense.

“Why don’t you guys believe that I was sick? I’m a human being. We get sick, sometimes."

“Girl, the last time you were sick, you insisted on ‘working through the fever’. I had to burn my favourite blanket because of all the germs you got on it.” 

“Wait!” Charles’ eyes are unnaturally wide. “Did you and Teddy…break up?”

Amy’s eyes sting with unshed tears. “Yes. Are you guys happy now?”

“No! God, that’s terrible!” She closes her eyes as Charles envelops her in a hug. “Why’d you break up? I thought you guys were serious.” 

There’s clearly no way out of this, so she sighs and tells them about Teddy’s pilsners, about him being boring and predictable, about the lack of spark between them, about how she was more in love with the idea of him than he himself. She doesn’t tell them about Jake’s confession, about being confused, about missing Jake and how the sight of him threw her off balance, about lying in the dark and wishing Jake were next to her. 

It’s not a lie, but it’s not the truth, either. 

———

They drag her out to the bar after work, with Gina insisting that all she needs to get over a breakup are the “three Ds” - drinks, dancing and dudes. 

Amy finds herself jostled from one corner of the bar to another as the squad tries their best to cheer her up - Gina forces four drinks on her with an order to “loosen up”, Rosa shoves her in front of a tall, muscled hunk to “bone her problems away”, Terry promises to grievously injure Teddy if necessary and Charles presents her with a list of “cathartic exercises” to get over the pain.

Amy doesn’t quite know how to tell them that she isn’t depressed. In fact, what little sadness she feels stems mostly from how heartbroken Teddy sounded when they broke up. 

Hours later, they haul her into a cab and send her home. She’s way past her alcohol limit, no thanks to Gina, and she barely manages to open the door and fall into bed when the taxi finally reaches her doorstep. Drunk off her ass and knowing she’ll be faced with a terrible hangover in the morning, there’s only one thing she can bring herself to think about - Jake.

God, she is so fucked.

**Day 93**

Amy wakes up to her alarm, unfortunately. The shrill ring of her clocks (all three of them) drills right into her brain, and she’s suddenly very aware of how nauseous she feels. 

Armed with sunglasses and a box of painkillers, she makes her way to work, silently cursing Gina for her hangover the whole way.

——— 

When she arrives, everyone is staring at her. 

She’s positive that she isn’t late, but just to be sure, she checks the precinct’s clock. Nope, she’s on time for work. Three minutes early, in fact, she notes with pride. 

“Did something happen last night? Why are you guys acting all weird?” After a whole minute of complete silence, she figures she should probably say something.

Charles is the first to make it to her desk. “Don’t you remember? You practically professed your undying love for Jake last night! Gosh, I am over the moon! I’ve been rooting for the two of you since forever!”

_“What?!”_

In between Charles’ excited babbles, Amy learns about the events of the previous night from Gina’s live tweets. Apparently, after her sixth drink, she started crying and told everyone all about Jake’s confession and how much she “wanted to see his stupid face and hear his stupid jokes”. Things only got worse as the night went on.

Amy spends the rest of the day swallowing down the bile that rises in her throat.

———

That night, head still throbbing from the remnants of her hangover, Amy finds the picture they took after defeating the Vulture and falls asleep with Jake’s smile burned into the back of her eyelids.

 _God_ , she is  _so_ fucked.

**Day 150**

Holt calls them into his office in the morning to tell them that Jake’s mission will be finished exactly in a month.

_One month._

_30 days._

For once, Amy barely hears anything else the captain says.

 **Day 173**

One week before Jake is expected to return, the squad is called into Holt’s office again.

Amy’s ears start to ring.

She folds her arms as she enters and presses her nails into her forearms. Just in case.

As it turns out, Jake’s return has just been postponed by a whole week. Holt mentions something about last minute wedding changes, but Amy doesn’t care. 

 _Jake is safe._  

The crescent marks on her arms take a whole day to fade.

**Day 186**

Amy stays up all night thinking about the stories she’d heard of cops who went undercover and came back changed.

She thinks about how empty Jake’s eyes had been when she saw him three months ago. 

When she finally falls asleep, her dreams are plagued with images of bullet wounds and body bags.

**Day 187**

_Jake._  

———

Jake’s supposed to arrive in the afternoon, so Amy spends the entire morning staring at his once-again empty desk – Frank had been informed about Jake’s mission and sent to another precinct – and worrying about all the ways his mission could go awry.

When he finally arrives, Amy nearly cries from relief.

 _He’s here._ He’s here and he’s real and alive and laughing and—

In front of everyone, Amy gets up and wraps her arms around him. His presence is warm and comforting and feels like a thousand answered prayers all at once, and she reels from how overwhelming it all is.

“It’s just me, Ames. I’m back.”

 _No,_ she thinks, _you’re_ home. 

**Author's Note:**

> After watching the road trip episode I thought about what Teddy said about how Amy got "confused" every time Jake told her he liked her and how their relationship got out of sync because Amy liked him back. This is pretty much my interpretation of Amy becoming disoriented because of Jake and leaving Teddy.
> 
> I included the OC because I don't think that Jake's spot would have just been left empty while he was undercover/fired, but Frank didn't play an important role anyway.
> 
> Thanks for reading my story and please comment if you spot any errors/things I can improve on :-)


End file.
